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  • Amy Bellows

Confession: I Pay for Porn

I know, I know. You're wondering why I mention this. It's mostly because I write about sex workers a lot, and paying for porn is a sex worker issue.


Sometimes people criticize the decision to pay for porn. They think people who pay for porn are suckers or we're not managing our money correctly. They mention all of the free sites. In the past, I didn't see the problem with free sites either. Then I looked into the impact and legal issues those free sites have, and I changed my mind about them.


The most popular porn sites that provide access to free porn are owned by a company called MindGeek. That company allows people to download any kind of content they want to their site. This means videos of kids having sex are being uploaded. It means videos of sex trafficking victims are being uploaded. It also means that legitimate videos where everyone is consenting and paid are pirated too, and thus bankrupting the parts of the porn industry that are doing everything right.


It may be true that the people who upload those videos aren't benefiting from it. But MindGeek is benefitting from all of the advertising. So basically, those free sites are creating a situation where one company is making money from exploiting sex workers all around the world.


Personally, I don't want to be a part of that.


Knowing this may make you wonder where to find ethically sourced porn. Specifically, gay male porn. Since I write MM romance, I'm going to assume that many of my readers are interested in that kind of content. So I thought I'd share some of my favorite places to pay for porn.


Bellessa.co


This is my first recommendation because the quality control for this site is incredible. I'd also recommend their sex toy shop and erotica. There are limited "guy on guy" videos, but the ones they have are very emotional. Bellessa.co is a great site for people who want high quality lesiban porn too, and many of the videos are free. So if you're worried how much ethical porn will cost you, Bellessa is a nice option.


Onlyfans.com


You may have already heard of Onlyfans. The reason why I like it is because it allows you to pay the sex worker directly. They also have complete creative control over what content they put out there, which I think is great.


Unlike Pornhub or Redtube, piracy isn't rampant on Onlyfans. But OnlyFans does lack a lot of security measures like requiring ID that would protect victims of human trafficking and minors from being exploited. So be sure to do your homework before supporting an artist.


Cockyboys.com


This is a great site if you want a wide variety of content. For those who enjoy Daddy kink, Cockyboys provides it (although my favorite Daddy content comes from Icon Male). In addition to porn videos, they have live camboys and behind-the-scene clips.


As a warning, there are double penetration videos, which I'm not a big fan of (while I write DP and I think there's nothing wrong with exploring it in your personal sex life, the prolonged nature of filming sessions heighten the health risks to the performers, so it's not something I personally seek out in porn. To clarify, I don't judge performers who want to do it or have chosen to do it for financial reasons).


Unfortunately, the diversity of performers in Cocky Boys isn't great. But overall, I think it's a good site. If you only want guy on guy content, and you just want to pay for one subscription, I think it's a good choice.


Icon Male


Icon Male is a great site if you like taboo-themed porn. It's directed by a woman, so there's more emotion than some of the other sites, but it also lacks the queer male perspective of Cocky Boys. Overall, I think they have a lot to offer, especially for readers who enjoy the kind of content I normally write. When I'm looking for porn to help me block a sex scene, Icon Male is generally my first choice.


Icon Male is paired with Noir Male, a site that offers gay porn featuring black men, free of the nasty stereotypes that permeate the industry. As a result, there is much more diversity with their models (who are still mostly white, but there are more people of color than other sites). Unfortunately, Icon Male also works with Billy Santoro, who is horribly racist. So it's definitely a mixed bag. Racism is a huge problem in the porn industry, and Icon Male seems to be doing better than most sites at trying to acknowledge it and combat it, with mixed results.



Here are some places I won't pay for porn:


Pornhub: Despite the option to purchase scenes directly from sex workers or become a paid fan, much of that money is still going back to MindGeek, so I don't give PornHub any of my money.


Men.com: From my limited experience with this site, there seem to be a lot of racial stereotypes perpetuated in their videos and an over-the-top cheesiness I can't get over. If I'm wrong, please tell me. Maybe I haven't given them enough of a chance. But this site isn't for me.


Redtube: Also owned by MindGeek and has many of the same ethical issues as PornHub.


Where do you like to pay for porn?


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